i have always looked at having cancer, and being a two time survivor, as a balancing act. it is sort of like balancing a scale- you know, the ones with a little pan on each side? one pan is full of puppy dogs, butterflies and rainbows. the other pan is full of the serious side of things. i do not think that either side should out weigh the other. if you are consumed by the serious side of things- sometimes the "gloom and doom", then you will suffer , as will your family and friends. on the other hand, if you are a person who is basically in denial, then i feel that one of these days, your world will come crashing down. when you finally accept what is going on, it could be devastating.
i personally like to research everything, keep records, and ask enough questions to slightly aggravate my doctors and other health professionals. i try to see the bright side, but in a realistic way. there are always things to be thankful for of course .generally, i try to be upbeat and positive, but aware of what is happening to me. great health care providers, family and friends are all wonderful and necessary to get through any chronic health care issue. but basically, it all comes down to you- the patient. we all need to be our own best patient advocate, if possible.
i have some testing coming up in march, and a LOT of testing coming up in april. between now and then, i am hoping to do some things to address my general well being and mental health. for the past 7 months, i have been focusing all of my attention and energy on the treatment side of things- surgery, chemotherapy, more surgery,etc. for one thing , i see the need to add some gentle exercise to my life. i have chosen tai chi as a starting point. i really wish it could be zumba- i sure do miss it! but i know that my body is not quite ready for that level of activity. i do think that the 5 years i spent doing zumba helped my body withstand the demands of the surgeries and chemotherapy.
my husband and i are planning on having a vegetable garden this year. we tried to have one in years past, but with both of us working full time it just did not work out. i love living out here in the "boonies" as some people call it . the peace that only nature can bring really soothes the soul. we also want to keep bees, if we can figure it all out! my husband planted a "healing garden" for me both times that i was recovering from cancer surgery. he loves the flower gardening part of things, so we will be working on that as well.
as far as my mental health goes, that is somewhat of a challenge. with a breast cancer diagnosis, naturally i had to stop taking my estrogen" cold turkey". that along with the changes in my body, as well as having a second primary cancer within the span of five years , has been difficult to deal with at times. i used to hardly ever cry, but suddenly i find myself crying at the drop of a hat, as well as every time i happen to see a hallmark commercial.(!) yes, i could take antidepressants, and while i do not judge others who do, it is just not for me. i am hoping that a lifestyle change will tip my scales over onto the puppy dog side of life . i have been focusing too much of my energy on the serious side and need to get my scale balanced again.
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