the decision of " if i should return to work or not" has been a difficult one. during most of my surgeries, chemotherapy, doctor's appointments,etc. i was just too sick to think about if i could return to work or not. honestly, i was not sure, and i am still not to some degree, if i could be a productive part of my team. and those guys are my team! they have been so kind to me- offered support, cards, gifts, and encouragement. i am not sure what i would have done without them! so, i do not want to let anyone down. that said, i have had to make a decision based on what is best for my family and myself.
i am sure most people know, but working in pharmacy is a stressful job for everyone involved. i have not thought for one minute that this stress actually caused my cancer, but let's just say that stress gave my cancer a head start in the race. it has taken me so very long to get to the point where i could actually see myself working an entire day without having to go home. i decided to work very part time at first, and see how that goes. i see my oncologist on march 10th, and he will do blood work, and an office visit. we will also schedule a CAT scan for april to see if the cancer has come back or spread to any other location. i will need for my oncologist to fill out a form saying that i am capable of returning to work. i have no reason to think that he will not do this. that said, i guess that i will not know for absolute certain until i see him.
so, if the doctor gives me the green light to return to work, i will spend monday, march 14th, doing CBL's. that is the bane of every walmart employee's existence. those darn computer based learning programs are on going, and i have missed ten months worth of them! then, on march 16th- a wednesday, i will actually work an entire shift. my hours are 10 to 5. i know that sounds easy, but it makes me a little nervous. after being out for so long, i feel like going back for a full shift seems a little like having to merge onto the interstate into traffic that is going 70 miles an hour.
starting the first of april , i will begin working every other Sunday. i will be the only pharmacist ( that is the way it is on the weekends), but the pace is slower, somewhat, and the doctor's offices are closed. of course, the ER and convenient care will be open, but still, it should be an easier day. that is what i keep telling myself, anyway.
so, i have a little less than a month to regain more of my strength. i will have to wean myself off afternoon naps, lol. and there is the problem of the arthritis symptoms from the arimidex. hopefully i can discover some additional ways of dealing with this side effect. about 15% of all women who take this estrogen blocker have the arthritis. i already have some arthritis in one knee anyway, but this affects the entire body. i may have thrown these statistics out before, but 30% of all women who have had breast cancer will have a recurrence. the arimidex has been shown to reduce the recurrences by 22% for postmenopausal ( that is an important fact to note) women. this is compared to the drug tamoxifen- which is the drug of choice for pre-menopausal women.
despite all of my research, and i have done a fair share of that, it is still a gamble. which drug to use, should i return to work, will there be enough stress to cause the cancer to return,and so on. i am trying to navigate my way on this unexpected journey of mine. and i am just doing the best that i can.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
my heart goes out to the women known as the " taxotears"
when i was getting my chemotherapy, i was NOT informed that permanent hair loss was a possible side effect of the drug taxotere. taxotere is considered a sort of " gold standard" in the treatment of breast cancer. as i have mentioned before, my oncologist stopped my taxotere ( bless him) because of neuropathy in some of my toes and fingers. this happened half way through my treatments. although he did change that particular drug to adriamycin, which is affectionately known as the " red devil", it does not cause, at least to my knowledge, permanent hair loss. i might mention that three of my toes are still numb, and probably will always be that way. at least the feeling came back in my fingers. it would be hard to type this blog if they were still numb (!).
a group of courageous, persistent women known as the "taxotears" brought forth a lawsuit to force the manufacturer of the drug taxotere to make the side effect of permanent hair loss known to chemotherapy patients. this was only just implemented in november of 2015.
about ten days after my first round of chemotherapy, my hair started coming out. my husband gave me a buzz cut, and i thought that would be good enough. but after my second round of the taxotere, i was shocked to find very tiny hairs- so many of them, in my little sleep cap beanie. long story short( i think that there is a pun here ), i ended up as bald as a bald eagle- no, that is not quite right- they have feathers. as bald as an eight ball, as smooth as a bowling ball, as slick as an ice cube, well, you get the picture.
some people might think that this would be the least of my problems at this point. but, having lost both breasts and being bald on top of that. well, let's just say my self image had just taken a major hit. it took quite a while, i think, for my hair to start growing back. i believe that my husband was getting worried,too, although he always tries to be encouraging. it has been about five months since my last chemotherapy treatment. my hair has come back super curly, but is still super short. sometimes i get scared and tell my husband that perhaps it has stopped growing? he always tells me, " oh, sweetie, it is growing back! all the curls just make it look shorter than it really is." he is a really sweet man.
for a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient, taxotere will most certainly be the drug of first choice. some women have reported some success in keeping their hair using a " cold cap". these are expensive, and do not always work. since women do lose their hair with the taxotere, ( i also had cytoxan with every chemotherapy treatment, and this can cause temporary hair loss) how do you know if the hair loss will be permanent? good question. i am not sure if there is, or will be, an answer to this. it does make the " cold cap" product seem a bit more desirable, though.
would i have done anything differently with my treatment had i had the correct side effect information about the taxotere? i am not sure. i suppose that i should be grateful that the neuropathy stopped my treatment with this particular drug. even though my hair is more like the turtle than the hare in the hair growing race, at least i have a little. for that, i am thankful. slow and steady wins the race, i guess.
a group of courageous, persistent women known as the "taxotears" brought forth a lawsuit to force the manufacturer of the drug taxotere to make the side effect of permanent hair loss known to chemotherapy patients. this was only just implemented in november of 2015.
about ten days after my first round of chemotherapy, my hair started coming out. my husband gave me a buzz cut, and i thought that would be good enough. but after my second round of the taxotere, i was shocked to find very tiny hairs- so many of them, in my little sleep cap beanie. long story short( i think that there is a pun here ), i ended up as bald as a bald eagle- no, that is not quite right- they have feathers. as bald as an eight ball, as smooth as a bowling ball, as slick as an ice cube, well, you get the picture.
some people might think that this would be the least of my problems at this point. but, having lost both breasts and being bald on top of that. well, let's just say my self image had just taken a major hit. it took quite a while, i think, for my hair to start growing back. i believe that my husband was getting worried,too, although he always tries to be encouraging. it has been about five months since my last chemotherapy treatment. my hair has come back super curly, but is still super short. sometimes i get scared and tell my husband that perhaps it has stopped growing? he always tells me, " oh, sweetie, it is growing back! all the curls just make it look shorter than it really is." he is a really sweet man.
for a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient, taxotere will most certainly be the drug of first choice. some women have reported some success in keeping their hair using a " cold cap". these are expensive, and do not always work. since women do lose their hair with the taxotere, ( i also had cytoxan with every chemotherapy treatment, and this can cause temporary hair loss) how do you know if the hair loss will be permanent? good question. i am not sure if there is, or will be, an answer to this. it does make the " cold cap" product seem a bit more desirable, though.
would i have done anything differently with my treatment had i had the correct side effect information about the taxotere? i am not sure. i suppose that i should be grateful that the neuropathy stopped my treatment with this particular drug. even though my hair is more like the turtle than the hare in the hair growing race, at least i have a little. for that, i am thankful. slow and steady wins the race, i guess.
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