the decision of " if i should return to work or not" has been a difficult one. during most of my surgeries, chemotherapy, doctor's appointments,etc. i was just too sick to think about if i could return to work or not. honestly, i was not sure, and i am still not to some degree, if i could be a productive part of my team. and those guys are my team! they have been so kind to me- offered support, cards, gifts, and encouragement. i am not sure what i would have done without them! so, i do not want to let anyone down. that said, i have had to make a decision based on what is best for my family and myself.
i am sure most people know, but working in pharmacy is a stressful job for everyone involved. i have not thought for one minute that this stress actually caused my cancer, but let's just say that stress gave my cancer a head start in the race. it has taken me so very long to get to the point where i could actually see myself working an entire day without having to go home. i decided to work very part time at first, and see how that goes. i see my oncologist on march 10th, and he will do blood work, and an office visit. we will also schedule a CAT scan for april to see if the cancer has come back or spread to any other location. i will need for my oncologist to fill out a form saying that i am capable of returning to work. i have no reason to think that he will not do this. that said, i guess that i will not know for absolute certain until i see him.
so, if the doctor gives me the green light to return to work, i will spend monday, march 14th, doing CBL's. that is the bane of every walmart employee's existence. those darn computer based learning programs are on going, and i have missed ten months worth of them! then, on march 16th- a wednesday, i will actually work an entire shift. my hours are 10 to 5. i know that sounds easy, but it makes me a little nervous. after being out for so long, i feel like going back for a full shift seems a little like having to merge onto the interstate into traffic that is going 70 miles an hour.
starting the first of april , i will begin working every other Sunday. i will be the only pharmacist ( that is the way it is on the weekends), but the pace is slower, somewhat, and the doctor's offices are closed. of course, the ER and convenient care will be open, but still, it should be an easier day. that is what i keep telling myself, anyway.
so, i have a little less than a month to regain more of my strength. i will have to wean myself off afternoon naps, lol. and there is the problem of the arthritis symptoms from the arimidex. hopefully i can discover some additional ways of dealing with this side effect. about 15% of all women who take this estrogen blocker have the arthritis. i already have some arthritis in one knee anyway, but this affects the entire body. i may have thrown these statistics out before, but 30% of all women who have had breast cancer will have a recurrence. the arimidex has been shown to reduce the recurrences by 22% for postmenopausal ( that is an important fact to note) women. this is compared to the drug tamoxifen- which is the drug of choice for pre-menopausal women.
despite all of my research, and i have done a fair share of that, it is still a gamble. which drug to use, should i return to work, will there be enough stress to cause the cancer to return,and so on. i am trying to navigate my way on this unexpected journey of mine. and i am just doing the best that i can.
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