it is such a simple piece of advice. trust your gut. or as dr. spock used to say " trust yourself. you know more than you think." i read his quote in a baby care book that i received after my first child was born. i have thought back to this advice many times, and have tried to follow my feelings. of course, many times we second guess ourselves. we over think, and make something more complicated than it needs to be.
i have discussed this in my earlier blogs, but i think that this example bears repeating. after my 3d mammogram and ultrasound, the radiologist( i will call him radiologist #1) took me into his office and showed me the pictures of my left breast. now, i certainly am not an expert, but even i knew,before he even pointed it out to me, that what we were looking at was not normal. it looked like an alien life form- irregular shaped, shaded, with strange looking" fingers" that looked like they were reaching for something. there was also an area of suspicious looking cells in another area of tissue. he said that of course i would need a biopsy.
so, radiologist #2, who did the biopsy and was recommended by by gynecologist, also saw this same suspicious looking area. all that he said was, " wow that looks weird. hope the biopsy was not too painful for you, and have a nice day." by this time, i knew something was really wrong but who was i to question two other doctors? i went on with the surgeons plan to just get a lumpectomy and radiation afterwards.
enter radiologist #3. could i have a HUGE round of applause here ? i liked her right off the bat, as they say. i was getting prepped for the lumpectomy , and she took one look at my x-rays and said, " hold on. i do not like the look of this area over here." all that she was supposed to do was look at my x-rays, then send me over to nuclear medicine for the placement of the dye marking the sentinentel nodes. i would also like to add that this doctor did not usually work at the hospital where i was being treated. she was just filling in that day. she told me that she "treated patients like she would treat members of her own family." and that she " had to be able to sleep at night" after she made her decisions on patient care. by this time, the operating room and surgeon were ready for me. nuclear medicine was having heart palpitations over the delay, i think, but she calmly told me that with my permission, she would like to cancel the surgery and do a sterotatic biopsy on the " weird" looking area. i had only just met this doctor, but i had complete trust in her. and to be honest, i had already worried about the area in question.
i have always liked my breasts. they nourished my children. they made me feel feminine. i guess a part of me was hoping to get by with just the lumpectomy, but my gut was telling me that this was not the right decision. after all, my breasts were not worth dying for. so, i agreed with radiologist #3. we probably made several people mad that day, but in the end it was the absolute correct thing to do. the weird area was indeed a separate cancer, and had i just had the lumpectomy and radiation, at some point on down the line, i would have had to return for the bilateral mastectomies. and what is most important, the cancer might have had more time to spread to other areas of my body.
i have thought a great deal about radiologist #3. i actually called the hospital and got her name so that i could send her a note to express my gratitude. even better, when she heard that i was asking about her, she called me at home to check on me. i told her how grateful i was for what she did for me. i told her that saying "thank you" hardly seemed like enough. i hope that my experience encouraged her to continue with her most excellent way of practicing medicine.
in my gut, or boob, i knew something was wrong. i was so very fortunate to have someone who also noticed that something was wrong, and followed her gut to check things out further. care for cancer seems to be advancing daily. i know that i have received much better care than i would have gotten even 5 years ago. and, cancer care in the future will be superior to the care available now. but one thing remains constant. we need to follow our feelings about the care that we are receiving, ask the right questions, get the right answers, and at least know that we have done every possible thing that we can do to get well.
if you are reading my blog,i would like for you to remember what dr. spock said all those years ago. " trust yourself. you know more than you think." it is your body- you alone know if something is not right. i said that.
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