" the quiet was so deep that their feet seemed to thump along while all the trees leaned over them and listened". from the hobbit, by j. r. r. tolkein

so, yesterday,  i went for my first check up with the oncologist after my first chemotherapy. i had had the usual side effects that i suppose everyone has to some degree- taste changes, sore mouth, a slight fever, some nausea. but i also had some very significant abdominal pain ( the taxotere) and the delights that come with that. just as bad or worse than that really, was extreme bone pain. that was from the neulasta shot that i was given the day after chemotherapy. the purpose of this is to stimulate your body to make white blood cells. it is a long acting drug- stays in your body for 2 weeks- and most people do pretty well with it. i have learned to expect the unexpected when it comes to me. every bone in my body hurt and i could hardly walk saturday night. when the nurse looked at my blood work, she said that my white blood cells were very high. who knew my body would try for the world record in white blood cell making? the nurse said that she had observed that the people who made the most white blood cells had the most pain. i could have told her that.

so, after a little discussion, i am not to be receiving the neulasta shots again. what the doctor will do is to monitor my blood work a little closer, and if my white blood cells do go down, they can give me an injection to stimulate production that is short acting, and hopefully less painful. the doctor is also going to reduce my taxotere dose a little bit so that perhaps the abdominal pain,etc. will not be as severe. i started out asking nicely about these changes, but was willing to beg or whatever if that was necessary! it was not. from this, i can conclude that it is necessary to have an oncologist who is willing to make adjustments, though not ones which would  jeopardize your health, when it comes to a chemotherapy regiment.  

so today has been my first good day after chemotherapy. i still have some of the above mentioned symptoms, but i do feel a little bit more like myself. when i had my first infusion, there was an almost unbearable quiet. there was plenty of noise going on around me - other infusion rooms, nurses station, people moving around, but when the nurse started my infusion, the world went totally quiet. jeff and i were holding hands and were  just waiting to see what would happen. hopefully, my second chemotherapy, which is scheduled for july 8th, will go well. at least now i know what to expect, somewhat. i think the world will still be a little quieter then as well, though.