yesterday was my first " solo" day back at work. it made me think of something a customer said to me years ago, when i was working at cvs. it was fairly late one night and we were not terribly busy. i had been out on the floor helping another customer, and when i came back to the pharmacy, i saw this man peeping his head behind the counter and looking all around( for me, i guessed). he said "where is the pharmacist in charge tonight?". i always wear my white coat, name tag, etc. and i just looked at him and said, " well, it is me! i am the one flying the plane tonight." thankfully, he laughed.
so whenever i am working by myself- on a week-end or a night shift- i remember that i am the "one flying the plane". my crew and i can either crash and burn( which has happened a time or two in my career ), or we can have a smooth flight and land safely. working with the public is really hard! and i have been out on medical leave for about ten months. i came into work early yesterday morning, so that i could start up the computers and be sure that i had most of the technical stuff up and running. i noticed that as i was working, i would first think, OMG how do you do this or that on the computer?! but after i took a minute to calm myself, i usually figured things out. i would like to say that i have a wonderful "crew". the technicians were so kind to me yesterday. they were very supportive and i think worked very hard to make sure things went as smoothly for me as possible. i can not thank you guys enough.
the thing that i love best about my job is the patient contact. i really do like counseling patients about their medications, and even helping them find the best over the counter medications that will be effective, but not interfere with their particular health conditions. of course, there are times when i have to tell patients something like " no, i can not help you with that chainsaw laceration! a bandaid and neosporin will not help. you have got to go to the ER!"you might be surprised how many times something like this happens. i am not afraid to tell someone that i can not help them, and that they need to see a doctor!
i was more than a little worried that i would be rusty from being out so long, but i think that things went as well as i could have hoped. luckily, we were not terribly busy, and things went smoothly. i will admit to having some issues at first with "chemo brain". and occasionally now, i struggle to remember the word for something, someone's name or such. but one thing that i did, and it was something that i love to do anyway, has helped me overcome a lot of the brain fog that chemotherapy causes. that thing is reading. i have since learned that it does not matter what type of books or magazines that a person reads, it is just very important that you read during and after chemotherapy. just as exercise is good for your body as you heal, exercise for your brain by reading is essential for good health,too.
right now, i am only working every other Sunday, and perhaps a day during the week when needed. i know that there will be difficult days ahead and i will probably get discouraged. i will admit that i am very tired today. that was another thing that i was not sure about- my energy level. could i last for a nine hour day at work ? i have been struggling with fatigue again. hopefully it is just that my dose of thyroid medication needs adjusting. i have my blood work for my big thyroid cancer check up next week. the week after that, i will have tests done and meet with my endocrinologist. hopefully, she will be able to help me out with the fatigue.
having to fight breast cancer without a thyroid is a little extra tough. being a two time cancer survivor is something that i have difficulty processing sometimes. i am thankful to be here, and grateful to everyone who has helped me. never in a million years would i have ever thought that i could have major surgery, withstand chemotherapy, reconstruction, and still be standing. i guess it makes the idea of being able to fly a plane look pretty easy.
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