my appointment with the oncologist this past thursday went pretty well . i had blood work, and part of the test ( to be precise, the cbc/plt/,diff.) was read immediately. there were 6 values that i was"abby normal" on, but my oncologist did not seem to think that it was important at this time. i was a little concerned because it was just 4 values that were off last time. most of the ones that were off were the ones that measure platelets and red blood cells. i am not sure what this means for me exactly, but i will be seeing my endocrinologist in april for my big thyroid cancer testing, so i will ask her. i get to have more blood work done then, yay, and also an ultrasound. i am not sure about a bone density test, but my oncologist said to be sure to tell my endocrinologist that i am taking the arimidex( an estrogen blocking drug, used to treat breast cancer). this drug can cause osteoporosis. i hate to be a whiner, but i truly hate taking the arimidex. it causes me to have severe arthritis like symptoms, as well as muscle aches. it has gotten a little bit better since i started, but i am still having to deal with this. i told my oncologist that i was probably more stubborn than the drug, so i would continue taking it. the reason being, as i have said before, arimidex decreases the recurrence of breast cancer by 22%. since my odds of having a recurrence are about 30%, this tips the odds a little bit in my favor. what else can you do?
my doctor gave me the OK to return to work this week. i faxed the paper work to my district manager, and yesterday was my first day back at work since i started this unexpected journey. i have traveled for ten months down this road. sometimes it seems like i started yesterday, and sometimes it seems like i have been traveling forever.i was very anxious tuesday evening- so many things to worry about! would i have enough energy to get through the day? would i remember how to use the computer? would the computer programs installed since i left be difficult to learn? i work with some very nice people. everyone was very helpful and kind to me. i did leave a little early, but it was more an issue with pharmacy hours than my stamina. i will say that i was pretty exhausted when i got home!
i am just planning on working two days a month- every other sunday- at this point. i may work extra when my partners take vacation, if they need for me to ( and if i can handle it). i enjoyed seeing some of my customers yesterday,too. i got a few hugs, and some people told me that it was " good to see me back" which was really nice. of course. it was a somewhat, for us anyway, slow day at work. no problems to speak of, so i know it was not indicative of a normal day at work. still, i was proud of myself for being able to do my job, and for being able to complete the day without having to call 911.
i think one of the reasons that i returned to work, besides wanting to see my coworkers and the fact that i get to help people, is that i wanted to retire on my terms, and not on cancer's terms.i worked up until may 21st of last year. my surgery was on may 22nd. and then i was off for ten months. most of that time i was too sick to think about anything other than making it from one day to the next. but as i slowly got better , i had the time to consider what i wanted out of my life, i have a very stressful job, and i know that i can not, nor do i want, to return to work full time. it would not be the best thing for me, or anyone else. still, i have missed the patient contact while i have been on medical leave. i enjoy helping other people take care of themselves, and i feel that i still have a little more to offer my customers. there are some other things that i would like to do with my life, though. i want to garden, write (something), and spend more time with my grandchildren. so, it comes down to a little work, and more play! my husband has cut his hours, though not as much as i have, so we can spend more time together. when our children were little, we worked opposite schedules so that one of us could be with them. long story short, we would like to see each other more. we want to be able to do fun things while we are still young enough to enjoy them.
so, i am heading back for a little bit of work, and hopefully, a lot more fun. i have this one life- and it is a gift- and i intend to make the very best of it!
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