"...sometimes the light's all shining on me. other times, i can barely see. lately, it occurs to me, what a long, strange trip it's been." lyrics from "truckin' " by the grateful dead

if you are one who has followed by thyroid cancer blog, you will recognize this title from one of my earlier posts on having thyroid cancer. i hate to repeat, but really, there is no other title that fits this post as well as this one.

i met with my surgeon today, and thought that i was going to have to make a case for having a double mastectomy. he surprised me. he said that because of the type of cancer that i have, invasive lobular, and because i have a mass in one breast, along with some cancerous calcifications , that he definitely recommended having both breasts removed. my surgeon told me that with this type of cancer, i would most likely have a return cancer in the other breast within one or two years. NO THANK YOU! i sure do not want to go through this again. and the constant worry, mammograms, maybe more testing,etc is not to my liking, either.

i was not sure about breast reconstruction until i talked to my surgeon. he convinced me, and i hope that i am making the right decision, to have it done at the same time as my mastectomies. he recommended a plastic surgeon, who would be in the operating room with him, and i am to see him in the next day or so. the plastic surgeon will be doing a fairly new procedure. i do not know all of the details yet, but basically he inserts a " pad" that has a port for saline injections. the saline is injected gradually, during several office visits later,  so that the skin is stretched gradually, ie, less pain.( that is always a  good thing ). i am looking at what the surgeon called a " minor surgical procedure", to remove the temporary " pad" and insert the permanent one when the surgeon and i decide the time is right. it will not be too long, because although i like dolly parton, well, you know....

i had a fever today, and asked my surgeon to look at the places where i had the core biopsies done. he made a face, and not a happy one. when a surgeon winces, i am thinking it must look a little bad. i do not have an infection, but the fever was from the trauma caused by the biopsy. that said, the radiologist who did the biopsy is my hero, as i mentioned. even the surgeon was impressed by her actions- stopping my lumpectomy right before it was to be done, and doing the core biopsy instead. she not only saved me from having two surgeries, but i personally think that she saved my life.

my surgeon has me on the fast track for my surgery. even so, it will be a couple of weeks or so. my general surgeon has to coordinate his schedule with the plastic surgeon's schedule . i told my surgeon that i would prefer to be at frye, but that i would take either hospital. i would like the first available, of course. i have waited about a month since my first mammogram sent me on this unexpected cancer journey. i really want to get this behind me and move on!

some of my friends and family have asked me about staging. i do not know, nor does my surgeon know at this point, what stage  cancer that i have. he said that it would all come down to if it was in my lymph nodes or not. i will not know about these until after my surgery. i will also not know if or what kind of chemotherapy/radiation that i will need. i guess another doctor- the oncologist- gets to decide this after my surgery.

i am off for the weekend. but i am planning on working a couple of days next week, unless my " spot" becomes available before then. i am trying to save most of my leave of absence from work for my "recovery days". i was pretty depressed yesterday, but today i have more information, and i feel better. this has been a roller coaster ride, or as the grateful dead so eloquently put it, a " long, strange trip,"