yesterday i went to see my plastic surgeon. it was for a follow up visit, and also to schedule my last surgery. the one where i will get my permanent implants for reconstruction. for five months now, i have been working on healing up a place on my right "foobie" where the stitches broke open. some of it was my fault, i will admit. i am not a good patient. i went grocery shopping by myself too early, and on top of that, i carried in all of the groceries. it would have been o.k. if i had made 70 trips or so, but me being me, i carried them all in in about three trips. it was shortly after that when the stitches broke open. my plastic surgeon said," well sometimes things like this happen." yesterday when he looked at my chest he grimaced. never a good thing when a surgeon makes a "yuck face" when checking you out!
i have been using hydrogen peroxide and bactroban( antibiotic ointment ) as per the surgeon's instructions all this time. i think that some of my slow healing was perhaps due to the chemotherapy. it was all happening at the same time, and i think that the toxic drugs slowed down the healing process. my white blood cells did plummet about 3 times, so that played a part. so, the surgeon said that he now has to " re-cut and re-stitch" that place on my chest. he will do it when i am under anesthesia ( thank God) for the reconstruction. just thinking about this makes me cringe! i really do not have any or very much feeling in that area, but it is just mainly the idea of the procedure that makes me queasy.
i was pretty depressed yesterday, i will admit. the idea of having to fix my incision too, means that the surgery will take longer and i run a higher risk of infection, to quote the surgeon. what should be a " same day" surgery , now could possibly involve an overnight stay. also, there is a possibility of a DRAIN. i had four drains when i had my bilateral mastectomies. they were cumbersome to say the least, but i will admit that although i really dreaded having the drains removed in the office, it was not that uncomfortable. if anyone reading this has to have drains removed, just remember to take a deep breath in and blow out when the nurse removes them. i am not sure if this helps with the removal process or just takes your mind off of what the nurse is doing. either way, it works.
i thought that my surgery would probably be the second week in november. that would have worked out perfectly. notice i used the words WOULD HAVE. as it is, my pre-op appointment is on november 23rd, and my surgery is not until december 4th. #everybodylovesmysurgeon and #thatiswhyheissobusy. it is my turn to have all the family over for thanksgiving this year. we have a Christmas celebration planned for the week before Christmas. (we do the" every other"thing in my family since we are a little scattered out). i think that the holidays/surgery will sort itself out, but one of my grandson's birthdays is on december 3rd. i am pretty sure that his party will be on december 5th, due to his parent's work schedules. i probably will not be able to make the party this year. i have decided to spend some time with him on his actual birthday, and hope that he will understand why i will not be able to attend his party( he will be 4 this year).
so, after getting a bunch of lemons yesterday, i decided, after a short while of feeling sorry for myself, to make lemonade. after all, i have so much to be thankful for. things could be a whole lot worse for me, and i have great family and friends for support. things may not be going the way that i thought that they would, but at least they are going. and as a bonus, i finally get to go to the beach next week! a little beach therapy is just what the doctor ordered, i think.
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